Carrying on from the last successful posts on 7 Steps to Generating Self Confidence – The Insider’s Guide to Self Confidence I had a ton of feedback from some of you asking for some quick fixes to generate instant confidence, either before a meeting, before making that cold call, before you walk up to that pretty girl you have been staring at but never quite had the confidence to talk to.
While you take your Journey of building up your confidence with those 7 easy steps from the last post, here is one you can use on the spot to generate Instant of confidence in 10 easy steps.
Does this work?
Well., so far it has made a tremendous impact in my life and in the life of a few friends who have had a go at some of it. You lose nothing by trying them out.
Why are these Quick Fixes to generating confidence necessary?
If you take too long to make a decision, you keep procrastinating on the tasks you should have, you have a business that needs help to grow but you are too scared to try anything different, you are just okay with staying “comfortable” and not trying new things, this all points to a general lack of confidence, and in the previous post you saw some of what you lose as a result of not being confident in yourself.
I took a while for me to realize that i wasn’t trying to do the things i said i would not because of fear but because i lacked so much confidence in myself, i built a house of self-doubt and lived in it for two years and watched how everything i said i was going to do but made so many “excuses” not to do was being done by more confident people, Realizing this pushed me to stay stagnant thinking about what i would have done different – I spent my free time “fantasizing” of what i could have done differently and this was on a continuous loop, and guess how long i did this for, another two years so, it took me four years to realize well, i had to do something different.
Learning and Practicing These 10 easy steps gave me the start i needed to generate the momentum needed.
These steps helped me to make that “START” and starting usually is the hardest thing to do as i have come to realize, but once you do?, the momentum and subsequent benefits is out of this world,
10 quick fixes to generate instant confidence
1) Picture the Outcome of any situation in your favor:
Visualization is one key power you have that is always used, however, You can decide how you use it or let other factors like fear do. let me give you a different perspective of how visualisation works against you.
One night you are out with a bunch of friends drinking and having a good time when one of your close buddies suggests You all sky dived the next day, It is a new experience for all of you, you have always talked about it and maybe the liquid courage-alcohol or the banging music and adrenaline flowing from having such a good time is to blame but you all agree as no one wants to be chicken .
You gets home, crippled by your fear of heights,
You can’t eat that night because You are anxious,
Your night is irritable,
You finally get some shut eyes because you need to sleep and you hope one of your friends calls and cancels but no one does, unknown to you, you are not the only one Freaking out as most, if not all your friends are going through this but no one wants to back out now and be made fun of.
so you arrive bright and early the next day at the airport and Hyped! training is over and you do fake high fives, pumping and psyching each other up but deep down, you are sick to your stomach, you see and imagine all the possible things that could go wrong, you think of pulling out but decide against it
now you are all on board, you, your friends, the plane takes off, at 10,000fts, your palms are sweaty now and you are finding it hard to breathe, you try to hide this from your friends, at 15,000fts, it is time to jump, the aircraft is opened the gust of wind hitting your face reminds you of the great height you are at and all your fears come back crawling, everything that could go wrong that you have been VISULAIZING,
now it Is time to jump, you want to pull back but you have to, yoU creep to the edge very slowly, and then 3,2,1 you jump with the instructor and as it is no more in your control what happens you relax and for the very first time since you made the “stupid decision” to go skydiving , you see the world from a new view, it is beautiful, the clouds, the wind rushing past your face and for a moment you forget about all your fears.
this looks made up but really I just borrowed Will Smiths (He is kind of big deal Nollywood Black Actor) personal story about his first time skydiving.
I am sure if you look back on your life you have had instances where after the crippling fear before a decision or a new experience like riding a roller coaster, talking to someone for the very first time, and you find out what a positive experience it is soon as you start, and you realized you were “scared” for nothing, well You visualized a lot of things going wrong and it went right.
On the other side of the spectrum However is when you visualize that what you are about to try is going to go wrong so you don’t try at all or if you do you lack so much confidence in yourself that you go in half-hearted and this leads to the failure you envisioned because you didn’t give it your all.
I can hear you asking “Hey what if after all this positively bullshit, what if it does not work out well how i had visualized it?, what if i fail woefully, would this not crash my confidence??”
there is an answer for this which is on the list keep going.
2) Listening to music with deep base promotes Feelings of power.
Various studies show that the music we listen to at any time has an impact on our mood. you tend to listen to sad songs when you are feeling sad, listening to a deep base rap song(yes! i love rap!) banging and loud with a lot of energy when you work out you seem to have a lot more energy and can work out for longer periods. This also works with generating self-confidence,
No matter the Music genre you are into, you can always find those deep songs and music that you can listen to get you in the right frame of mind. Go through your playlist now and create a catalog called instant confidence. I have one on my phone but i call it “favorites” because i play that every day, and it has helped me in building and generating instant confidence
3) Practice Powerful Poses:
This is also what i like to call confidence poses. The way you stand or sit or walk has a general bearing on your mood and how confident you feel. Practicing Confident poses therefore is a quick hack to generating instant confidence. When it comes to this there are dos and don’ts
– Do not fold your arms or keep them in a folded position
– Do not keep your arms closed or confined
– Always keep your arms open
– Instead of folding your hands, keep them on your waist
– Your Body should always be open
bonus tip: look at people around you who you see as confident and try imitating some of their body poses, you can never go wrong.
4) SELF PEP TALK:
Self pep talk is something that is super easy but takes a little bit of practice on your part, but i have simplified it for you as this is supposed to be an 10 easy steps 🙂 and i do not want to make it anymore complicated, however with this blueprint you can use and modify to suit the occasion as you please. For me, Everytime i Have to do something on my blog, Do something new, Connect with a prospect for the very first time, i do my self pep talk in the following format and it works wonders
– “I KNOW I CAN DO THIS. I KNOW ONLY 1% OF PEOPLE WILL DO THIS”
– “I HAVE TO GET OUT OF MY COMFORT ZONE AGAIN AS THAT IS WHERE GROWTH IS”
– “I have GOT THIS, I AM GOING TO CRUSH THIS”
– “THIS IS EASY FROR ME”
– “I AM ABOUT TO LEAR SOMETHING GREAT”
having this talk with myself has evolved so much so i can do it in my head or out loud when i am alone and even now as i type this i can feel the energy flowing.
You can practice this now. Think of something you want to start and give your self an affirmative pep talk and see if those juices don’t start flowing,
5) Believe in your ability to improve (Growth Mindset)
You have to believe completely in your ability to improve. I could write a whole new post on growth mindset.
As a child you couldn’t walk, but you tried every day, no matter how many times you fell, hurt yourself, you just tried over and over again till you became better at it and started running, this is the growth mindset we develop from an early state, even nature has the growth mindset as you do, deeply imbeded in your DNA.
Believe that you can improve, there is always room for improvement and this realization of what you are indeed capable of will give you that extra push
6) PRACTICE FAILURE:
Carrying on from the Growth mindset, it is important you learn to “PRACTICE FAILURE”.
What do i mean by practicing failure?
Think of anything you have mastered, how many times did you “fail”, whether it was learning to walk, learning to ride a bike, learning a new skill online, in school, etc, You learn by failing.
The educational system where you are judged on result has wired you to become scared of failure so you are stuck, you do not want to try anything new you might fail at, i know i feel like that every time i see a new opportunity, or anytime i think about learning a new skill, Perfection is the death of Growth. While you are stuck trying to be perfect, others are doing it, and failing their way to perfection.
When i started my journey on ” How to start making money online”, I got into this awesome University, Where i was hand held and told what and what to do, even as simple as it was i wanted to be perfect and was scared to really take action, because i wanted to be perfect, This hindered my growth as i was scared to practice failure.
When i started practicing and making mistake, i found out it wasn’t so bad and i learned more from my mistakes than when thing were perfect, the amazing support i could get also means i learnt from the best and i now look forward to making new mistakes.
A very recent example was setting up my shopify store, i had bought training courses from tai Lopez, I had taken a few free training from Kevin David and I had watched almost 70% of the lesson and i could tell you right now how to set up a shopify store, how to get it SEO ready, how to do perfect product research,
However, i wouldn’t be able to convince you, I kept postponing and after my first time on a shopify account, see the whole process i had to set up seemed overwhelming, i was thinking about how to implement too any steps, then one Sunday i told myself i was going to practice each video lesson and do exactly what was done, if i failed, i would just find another way and guess what, I have my shopify store up now and i am glad, i had a couple of “failures” that made me better.
The only different between you and an expert in any field is that the expert has failed a lot more times than you, so having this at the back of your mind gives you the confidence going into any scenario that you either succeed on the first trial or fail and learn something that didn’t work,
A very great example of this can be seen in the story of Albert Einstein, You know the guy?, famous inventor and creator of the light bulb? I took him “one thousand failures” to do it, but in an interview, the never considered these as failures but rather lesson on “how not to create a light bub” Failures are the building blocks of success.
7) REWARD YOURSELF NO MATTER WHAT
This step leads on from after you have generated enough confidence to do whatsoever you had to, now, this is the fun part, If you have gotten to this stage well, Congratulations my friend. Time to give yourself a pat of the back. Following up from step six where failure or success is defined as success, you need to reward yourself, NO MATTER THE OUTCOME.
After successfully setting up my shopify store, i had a few problems but that was super easy to do, i rewarded myself, i went to see a movie, okay, i planned on seeing the movie but setting it in front of me as a reward gave the confidence boost to finish up.
I used to reward myself before i start something, matter of fact we all do that sometimes, i used to say to myself, i would do A and B after I watch a few videos, watch one movie and blah bla blah. What happened was after i had done any of those, i move on to something else not related to what i was supposed to do and like that, i would have spent another 3 hours watching a series i said i was only going to watch an episode of.
This was such a problem for me when i was starting up my online business and it held me back a lot. But when i started taking these rewards and putting them in front of a task, things started getting done, i would say to myself after a blog post, i would watch a movie then i would start another task, sometimes, i get caught up in the blog post and before i know it i am 2000 words deep and cannot stop myself, it makes the reward so much more enjoyable as i have this feeling of having accomplished something!.
So take something you love and use it as a reward, you can literally get so much more accomplished, you don’t have to wait till tomorrow, you can start today, Want to make money online and don’t have the momentum, take something you love, pick a time frame, tell yourself every day for the next 90 days i would be taking these action steps for one hour and after that i would reward myself by doing this, focus and put your mind on the task every hour a day, do this for a week and you are bound to start seeing your confidence grow.
You can replicate this with short term goal you have and build up from there.
8) CREATE YOUR OWN PERCEPTION OF HOW YOU DID
Following on from whatever happens after you have taken action and done the task you set before you, spoken to the girl you have been looking at for week, crushed that interview, exam, etc NO MATTER how it goes down, you have to create your own reality/perception of the event.
This does not mean you lie to yourself but rather that you tell your own version of how it was for you. It doesn’t matter how badly you did, remember, every experience or failure, is a success in one form or the other, you learned something – that worked or doesn’t,
Creating your own perception of how you did could go something like this
“I kicked ass today cause i learnt something new”
“She doesn’t want to give me her number because i am too awesome and she cannot deal with how awesome i am”
“I crushed the interview, they just can’t see how awesome i am, but next time, i would be more prepared”
Giving Yourself a different reality, helps you see things in a whole new light and doesn’t harm the confidence you have built up already especially if it is for something you have to completely and consistently fail at to be a success
9) ALWAYS WRITE DOWN YOUR WINS
it is important to write down your wins every day, This is one step you should be consistent with, because you have wins every single day. This is so important as you can always refer to the progress you have made and this would go a long way in helping you believe you can do a lot. It is simple.
If i could do this, which i considered hard or next to impossible starting out, then obviously you can do this also, record your growth, just how you recorded your height with your dad every other weekend growing up as a child to see how far you have come,
when you start doing this action steps in any area of your life you have been too lethargic to follow, you would start getting wins and lessons, it will happen! Trust me! as the most lethargic procrastinator i am ( yeah, i am sure i am lazier than you are and i have procrastinated a lot worse that you do) this would help get you get going and if you are consistent it would keep you growing
10) AFFIRNATIONS: Well, this works and you can read all about it here