” Do one thing every day that scares you.” – Eleanor Roosevelt
Fear is one paralyzing feeling you have – actually, everyone has them, but what differentiates those who succeed in life and those who do not is the ability to face your fears.
How do you face your fears?
There are a number of ways to face your fears, and I would be sharing 5 great tips with you that I learnt about that has helped me face my fears – most of them anyway.
The first thing to understand about fear is that it is not real, it is just your mind’s way of trying to protect you due to past traumas. Fear of rejection or accomplishment or because someone, sometime had put a little seed of doubt about your ability.
Dictionary.com defines fear as ” a distressing emotion aroused by impending danger, evil, pain, etc., whether the threat is real or imagined; the feeling or condition of being afraid.”
The takeaway i want you to have from that definition is that the fear is either “real or imagined”
The thing with real fears is that you are certain of them, Your fear of being hit by a car if you cross the road without looking can be real if you are by the road and you see cars running at break neck speeds, that same fear could be imagined if you see someone hit by a car or hear of it and have to imagine it happening to you.
In this case, your imagination is both a gift and a curse as it exaggerates your imagined fears and would most time keep you from doing what must be done.
Fear is why you are “comfortable” in a job you hate, comfortable with the life you live even though deep down you know the life is not what you really want.
You want to start a new business or venture but your mind quickly goes to how you would fail and how much pain you are likely to go through if you do.
Now, you have not started, you have only thought about it, and you mind is throwing all sorts of false emotions your way and you believe it.
The best definition of fear i know and one which I keep with me every day is that fear is False Emotions Apperaing Real.
Knowing how to deal with your false emotions is a way you can use to conquer your fears and if you do it right it would save you a lot of “what ifs”
What do you fear the most?
When I decided I have had enough and my 8-5 day job was not enough to pay the bills anymore, I new i had to come up with a solution fast as in less than a year, my day job would be done and i would need another source of income.
I was scared to start anything as I had tried to make money online before and failed woefully, I had so many wrong emotions that appeared real to me.
How do I start?
Would i be able to build a website?
Would anyone read my blog post??
How was I am going to pay for my training and the tools I would need to make something good out of this?
A year on and i have talked to a lot of people who want to start a business with these similar fears, even when I talk to those higher up than I am at the moment they all had these same fears.
But they went ahead and decided to do the work.
The kind of life you deserve is usually on the other side of what you fear most.
Recently I started a YouTube channel and for months I had agonized on what to say, I would write an intro video and not stick to the script,
I kept beating myself that I was not good on video and I could not do the videos, however, this month I decided to do the intro video and forget about it, I faced my fears and while my first video would not probably be my best video, it was not as bad as i thought.
I remember the feeling I had shooting it and that has been such a great help for me.
now I know where to improve upon and how to go about making my next video.
Facing your fears opens you to a world of possibility and you realize that you have been scared for nothing
No i would like to share 5 ways to do the things you fear the most.
5 ways to do the things you fear the most
These 5 steps have helped me face my fears and do my very best and I am sharing the with you because they really work.
When next you are scared of doing something to you, try using these steps to boost you self-confidence and get things done.
You remember the definition of fear I gave you at the beginning as FEAR being an acronym for “False Emotions Appearing Real”?
That is how you should see anything you are scared of right now. instead of seeing your false emotions as a fact, see them for what they are, ” False Emotions Appearing Real”
Here is the difference, a fact is something that is constant and which you have no control over, an example is that all humans must die!, this is a fact and unless somehow we crack the immortality code, this would not change anytime soon,
While an emotion can be happy, sad, angry, scared ( real or imagined) and these are all things we can control. Your fear of public speaking could be a result of the false emotions you have led your mind to believe that “you are not a public speaker”
It is something that is false, you might have never had a chance to speak in public but when you are told you have to, you are scared that you would do a bad job. So instead of spending time practicing, you embrace the false emotions that your fear is a fact. Knowing the difference between a fact and your emotions which is subject to change is the first mind shift you need to tackle fear.
There is a quote ” Keep your fears to yourself, but share your courage with others” by Robert Louis Stevenson
While this makes sense, you can actually drown in certain fears if you do not share them with others who have lived and survived the same fears you have.
Sharing a particular fear you have also helps decrease them.
When it is just in your head playing around and growing, your imaginations allow it to run wild. I have been there myself and having someone to talk to about these fears can actually help. But knowing who you can talk to can make a big difference, as telling the wrong person can maximize the fear you have.
If you want to skydive for the first time, instead of sharing your fears with someone with a fear of height, you want to find out someone who has skydived before or who is a professional skydiver and talk to them about the fears you have, they most probably know what you are feeling and are in the best position to advise you on what to do or what not to do.
You can decrease the fear of your future by asking someone who has been through ( and achieved) what you are trying to do.
You would rarely be talked down by someone who has overcome a fear you are fighting that is why it is good to have a community of like-minded individual around you when it comes to your fears.
What if you succeed?
Your mind is conditioned to always see the worst and belief in it.
But instead of thinking of all the ways your dreams, endeavor or a task could go wrong, You can visualize the direct opposite of how it goes right.
It takes the same amount of energy to fantasize about everything that could go wrong, but this creates a self-fulfilling prophesy in itself and can spell doom for you.
Instead, think of how everything could and would go right in your favor, this would decrease the initial fear you have and help you get started.
Even if at the end of the day, you make a total mess of your self, agonizing and thinking of how bad things could go would not make it any less so,
so why spend the present agonizing about the future that is yet to happen?
The present should be spent, visualizing and thinking about how good of a future you will have if the task goes to perfection, this would spur you to practice and do the best you can to achieve.
i believe in a higher power and if you do or don’t, that is left to you.
I am a geographer/GIS analyst and whenever I look at the earth, I know it is not a coincidence I am here, I have been scared of things that turned out right and also worried myself to death on things that turned out great.
When faced with fear, i just pray about it and leave it in God’s hands. I know that doing my best is the only thing i can do and if it is meant to happen it will.
You should develop this mindset when it comes to your fears, do your best and belief in it.
The final step towards facing your fears is showing up.
When you show up and give it your all, you fear tends to stop.
The fear is usually worse at the initial stage when you are yet to start. But showing up and doing your best regardless of the false emotions your mind is building up as a way to protect you is a great way to get the task started.
Anytime I have to do something I am scared of doing ( shooting a video) I realize my fear evaporates once i can show up and get the task started instead of procrastinating.
there is research that supports this as it says that once you start the work that is needed of you, the fear of that task is reduced by as much as 50%.
Do not give in to your false emotions. Always realize that you deserve better and can have better if you put your mind to the task.
I would love to hear in the comment section, some of your fears and what you have done to face them. I am always on the lookout for tips on personal development and self-help.
Click Here to read my favourite quotes on Fears
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