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How to face your fears

How To Face Your Fears – ( 5 ways to do the things you fear the most )

How to face your fears

” Do one thing every day that scares you.” – Eleanor Roosevelt

Fear is one paralyzing feeling you have – actually, everyone has them, but what differentiates those who succeed in life and those who do not is the ability to face your fears.

How do you face your fears?

There are a number of ways to face your fears, and I would be sharing 5 great tips with you that I learnt about that has helped me face my fears – most of them anyway.

The first thing to understand about fear is that it is not real, it is just your mind’s way of trying to protect you due to past traumas. Fear of rejection or accomplishment or because someone, sometime had put a little seed of doubt about your ability.

Dictionary.com defines fear as ” a distressing emotion aroused by impending danger, evil, pain, etc., whether the threat is real or imagined; the feeling or condition of being afraid.”

The takeaway i want you to have from that definition is that the fear is either “real or imagined”

The thing with real fears is that you are certain of them, Your fear of being hit by a car if you cross the road without looking can be real if you are by the road and you see cars running at break neck speeds, that same fear could be imagined if you see someone hit by a car or hear of it and have to imagine it happening to you.

In this case, your imagination is both a gift and a curse as it exaggerates your imagined fears and would most time keep you from doing what must be done.

Fear is why you are “comfortable” in a job you hate, comfortable with the life you live even though deep down you know the life is not what you really want.

You want to start a new business or venture but your mind quickly goes to how you would fail and how much pain you are likely to go through if you do.

Now, you have not started, you have only thought about it, and you mind is throwing all sorts of false emotions your way and you believe it.

The best definition of fear i know and one which I keep with me every day is that fear is False Emotions Apperaing Real.

Knowing how to deal with your false emotions is a way you can use to conquer your fears and if you do it right it would save you a lot of “what ifs”

What do you fear the most?


What do you fear the most

When I decided I have had enough and my 8-5 day job was not enough to pay the bills anymore, I new i had to come up with a solution fast as in less than a year, my day job would be done and i would need another source of income.

I was scared to start anything as I had tried to make money online before and failed woefully, I had so many wrong emotions that appeared real to me.

How do I start?

Would i be able to build a website?

Would anyone read my blog post??

How was I am going to pay for my training and the tools I would need to make something good out of this?

A year on and i have talked to a lot of people who want to start a business with these similar fears, even when I talk to those higher up than I am at the moment they all had these same fears.

But they went ahead and decided to do the work.

The kind of life you deserve is usually on the other side of what you fear most.

Recently I started a YouTube channel and for months I had agonized on what to say, I would write an intro video and not stick to the script,

I kept beating myself that I was not good on video and I could not do the videos, however, this month I decided to do the intro video and forget about it, I faced my fears and while my first video would not probably be my best video, it was not as bad as i thought.

I remember the feeling I had shooting it and that has been such a great help for me.

now I know where to improve upon and how to go about making my next video.

Facing your fears opens you to a world of possibility and you realize that you have been scared for nothing

I had written a great article on 10 quick fixes to generate instant confidence .

No i would like to share 5 ways to do the things you fear the most.

5 ways to do the things you fear the most


5 Ways To Do The Things You Fear The Most

These 5 steps have helped me face my fears and do my very best and I am sharing the with you because they really work.

When next you are scared of doing something to you, try using these steps to boost you self-confidence and get things done.

1. Realize That Every Feeling is Not a Fact : Every feeling is not a fact

You remember the definition of fear I gave you at the beginning as FEAR being an acronym for “False Emotions Appearing Real”?

That is how you should see anything you are scared of right now. instead of seeing your false emotions as a fact, see them for what they are, ” False Emotions Appearing Real

Here is the difference, a fact is something that is constant and which you have no control over, an example is that all humans must die!, this is a fact and unless somehow we crack the immortality code, this would not change anytime soon,

While an emotion can be happy, sad, angry, scared ( real or imagined) and these are all things we can control. Your fear of public speaking could be a result of the false emotions you have led your mind to believe that “you are not a public speaker”

It is something that is false, you might have never had a chance to speak in public but when you are told you have to, you are scared that you would do a bad job. So instead of spending time practicing, you embrace the false emotions that your fear is a fact. Knowing the difference between a fact and your emotions which is subject to change is the first mind shift you need to tackle fear.

2. Sharing Your Fears Decreases them: Share Your Fears

There is a quote ” Keep your fears to yourself, but share your courage with others” by Robert Louis Stevenson

While this makes sense, you can actually drown in certain fears if you do not share them with others who have lived and survived the same fears you have.

Sharing a particular fear you have also helps decrease them.

When it is just in your head playing around and growing, your imaginations allow it to run wild. I have been there myself and having someone to talk to about these fears can actually help. But knowing who you can talk to can make a big difference, as telling the wrong person can maximize the fear you have.

If you want to skydive for the first time, instead of sharing your fears with someone with a fear of height, you want to find out someone who has skydived before or who is a professional skydiver and talk to them about the fears you have, they most probably know what you are feeling and are in the best position to advise you on what to do or what not to do.

You can decrease the fear of your future by asking someone who has been through ( and achieved) what you are trying to do.

You would rarely be talked down by someone who has overcome a fear you are fighting that is why it is good to have a community of like-minded individual around you when it comes to your fears.

3. Purposefully visualize the opposite :Purposefully visualise the opposite

What if you succeed?

Your mind is conditioned to always see the worst and belief in it.

But instead of thinking of all the ways your dreams, endeavor or a task could go wrong, You can visualize the direct opposite of how it goes right.

It takes the same amount of energy to fantasize about everything that could go wrong, but this creates a self-fulfilling prophesy in itself and can spell doom for you.

Instead, think of how everything could and would go right in your favor, this would decrease the initial fear you have and help you get started.

Even if at the end of the day, you make a total mess of your self, agonizing and thinking of how bad things could go would not make it any less so,

so why spend the present agonizing about the future that is yet to happen?

The present should be spent, visualizing and thinking about how good of a future you will have if the task goes to perfection, this would spur you to practice and do the best you can to achieve.

4. Put The Rest in God’s Hands : Put The rest in God's Hands

i believe in a higher power and if you do or don’t, that is left to you.

I am a geographer/GIS analyst and whenever I look at the earth, I know it is not a coincidence I am here, I have been scared of things that turned out right and also worried myself to death on things that turned out great.

When faced with fear, i just pray about it and leave it in God’s hands. I know that doing my best is the only thing i can do and if it is meant to happen it will.

You should develop this mindset when it comes to your fears, do your best and belief in it.

5. Show up and give it your best Show up and give it your best

The final step towards facing your fears is showing up.

When you show up and give it your all, you fear tends to stop.

The fear is usually worse at the initial stage when you are yet to start. But showing up and doing your best regardless of the false emotions your mind is building up as a way to protect you is a great way to get the task started.

Anytime I have to do something I am scared of doing ( shooting a video) I realize my fear evaporates once i can show up and get the task started instead of procrastinating.

there is research that supports this as it says that once you start the work that is needed of you, the fear of that task is reduced by as much as 50%.

Do not give in to your false emotions. Always realize that you deserve better and can have better if you put your mind to the task.

I would love to hear in the comment section, some of your fears and what you have done to face them. I am always on the lookout for tips on personal development and self-help.

Click Here to read my favourite quotes on Fears

You can join my news letter here and also follow my channel on YouTube where I do videos on personal development and How to make money online with Affiliate Marketing.

 

12 thoughts on “How To Face Your Fears – ( 5 ways to do the things you fear the most )”

  1. Your guide on face the fear is very awesome for everyone. I want to move forward in my life, my various fears work and my family is overwhelmed.And when I leave my life behind a breakthrough, a fear works and it can be overcome, but succeed in life.Your article has taught me how to deal with fear and it is very important to my life. I must decide what I want and overcome False Emotions Appearing Real

  2. Thank you for sharing this wonderful article about Fear. I enjoyed reading it and you are right that we must not let fear get the better of us. I have always had a fear to do a video for my WA website. l am so afraid to even record a sentence or take a minute video, with what you share with us I will definitely put my fear aside and go for the shooting. This statement has motivated me l will keep it with me forever. ”Do not give in to your false emotions. Always realize that you deserve better and can have better if you put your mind to the task’.’ Great Post.

    Wishing you all the success!

    1. You’re welcome fiona

      On your fears of shooting a video, just start shooting for yourself, don’t worry about anyone else seeing your videos.

      This would help yoiu build your confidence ( It did for me )

  3. Wow, I really enjoyed reading through your article. It was very enlightening on the issue of fear,  what can lead to it and how best to overcome it. With the events unfolding in our world today, one is susceptible to be fearful for oneself but this article shows that fear cannot just be faced buy overcome. Thanks so much 

  4. While reading I know that the fear of failure is a real big thing for me. I find that I can’t help but think this in everything that I do. When faced with fear, i just pray about it and leave it in God’s hands. I know that doing my best is the only thing i can do and if it is meant to happen it will. The present should be spent, visualizing and thinking about how good of a future you will have. Thanks for sharing.

  5. shariful islam

    Many thanks to you for sharing such an excellent article with us .When I want to move forward in my life, my various fears work and my family is overwhelmed.And when I leave my life behind a breakthrough, a fear works and it can be overcome, but succeed in life.Your article has taught me how to deal with fear and it is very important to my life.Because if I can cope with my life more then I can be successful in life and be successful in life.I will share your article with my friends to find out how to deal with fear and how they share new experiences with you.

  6. Thank you very much, every feeling is not a fact, in fact, I like the way you explained it a fact is what you have no control over, I did not determine when I was born but it is a fact that I was born. I am a banker is not a fact, I could have chosen to be a doctor. I must decide what I want and overcome False Emotions Appearing Real

  7. It is amazing how fear and fear of failure can hamper the path to success. It is not always easy to push past your fears, especially if it comes down to giving up your finances, like leaving a job to start on your own. My fear is definitely of making videos. When I watch the ones that I have made I die inside they are so bad, but I know that this is something that I need to keep working on. Thanks for the tips as I am sure they will help me. Now I need to figure out how to get rid of my fear of rats in the same way.

    1. Hello Michel, I have same fear for video and you can see the one i put up.

      I just know form talking to those who are quite good at it, that it sucks before it gets better, so i am making my mistakes now.

      One thing you can do that has helped me is to start shooting videos for yourself till you have the courage to post it.

      You would do great

  8. Hi and thanks for this very informative and knowledgeable article. The fear of failure is a real big thing for me. I find that I can’t help but think this in everything that I do. I have literally had to put myself through and rather than saying I failed I would push on, and it would get worse. Thanks to this article I’ll try some of the tip and tricks you suggest and see how it goes. Thanks. 🙂 

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